tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68040948150126489802024-03-14T15:24:31.147+07:00Stories to ShareLili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-44696127802854038432018-06-06T13:17:00.001+07:002018-06-06T13:17:15.970+07:00Pesta Semu Kelulusan<div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Berlalu sudah keriaan pesta graduasi yang terbalut kemegahan sekelas 'award night' ala stasiun TV nasional; yang tinggal adalah penggalan-penggalan kenangan masa-masa indah sekolah yang akan diputar ulang 5 atau 15 atau 25 tahun dari sekarang.</div>
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Masih segar dalam ingatan pertanyaan Semata Wayangku semalam sebelum pesta graduasi: "Mom, are you proud that I'm graduating?" Dan jawabanku masih terasa menggantung di tepian bibir: "Biasa aja.. Lulus SMP itu harus, Dear. Ngga ada pilihan sebaliknya."</div>
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Penggalan percakapan Rabu malam itu, terjalin dan tersimpul bersama dengan pemandangan meriah para orangtua yang sibuk merayakan keberhasilan Sang Putra dan Putri kebanggaan, menari-nari menggelitik dalam ruang-ruang pikiranku. Semakin dalam aku masuk dalam ruang-ruang itu, semakin kuat suara itu berteriak: patutkah kalian merayakan kelulusan SMP atau SMA dengan kemegahan setara itu? Apa arti dari kebanggaan yang dipamerkan di laman-laman akun media sosial kalian?</div>
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Anak-anakku sayang, mari duduk dan merenung sejenak. Kalian diantar oleh papa dan mama kalian ke sekolah unggulan dan bukankah SUDAH SEPANTASNYA kalian menyelesaikan jenjang pendidikan ini hingga tuntas? Pantaskah kelulusan dilihat sebagai SUATU HAL YANG ISTIMEWA? Bukankah kelulusan kalian adalah KEHARUSAN dan BUKAN PENCAPAIAN untuk dirayakan. Kelulusan seyogyanya menjadi saat yang tepat untuk berhenti sejenak dan melihat ke belakang sebelum kalian melangkah mendekati mimpi (yang mudah-mudahan merupakan) pilihan kalian. Kelulusan ini hendaknya menjadi momentum untuk MENSYUKURI KARUNIA DAN RAHMAT ALLAH yang dititipkan melalui tangan dan hati orangtua kalian. </div>
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Anak-anakku sayang, selama tiga tahun di jenjang SMP dan tiga tahun di jenjang SMA, kalian bekerja keras: mengerjakan tugas yang bertumpuk, belajar dan menghafal untuk ulangan, terjaga sampai larut menyelesaikan proyek dari sekolah, bangun pagi-pagi buta mengejar jam sekolah yang terasa terlalu pagi, terkantuk-kantuk mendengarkan guru bicara sambil menunggu jam istirahat atau jam pulang, berdesak-desakan di kantin sekolah setiap jam makan siang, menebalkan telinga saat mendengar omelan guru karena kalian tertangkap melakukan pelanggaran, menebalkan telinga saat papa dan mama melantunkan lagu merdu karena nilai-nilai di raport berbunga merah. Belum lagi perjuangan hati saat melihat putri atau pangeran pujaan hati lewat di depan kelas bergandengan tangan dengan orang lain. Dan akhirnya semua perjuangan kalian membuahkan hasil: kelulusan. </div>
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Lega bahwa satu jenjang sudah terselesikan, tentu! Senang karena kalian telah berhasil melewati masa-masa penuh tantangan, pasti! Bahagia karena hasil kerja sekian tahun sudah terangkum meriah dalam pesta kelulusan, boleh! </div>
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Namun, anak-anakku sayang, mari melihat lebih dalam. Apakah itu semua adalah perjuangan semata? Ataukah semua yang kalian alami itu justru merupakan karunia dan kesempatan berharga? Sudahkah kalian bersyukur atas kesempatan yang kalian dapatkan? Untuk setiap kali kalian sulit dibangunkan di pagi hari, terpikirkah bahwa ada anak-anak di luar sana yang setiap pagi harus bangun sebelum matahari terbit karena mereka harus bergegas bekerja mengais rejeki? Untuk setiap keluhan akan PR dan ulangan yang sulit, terpikirkah bahwa anak-anak lain harus bergelut dengan sulitnya kehidupan? Untuk setiap kekecewaan akan nilai yang kurang baik, terpikirkah akan anak-anak yang seumur hidupnya tidak pernah melihat kertas ulangan? Untuk setiap kesia-siaan waktu yang dihabiskan bersenda gurau dengan telepon pintar kalian di waktu belajar, terpikirkah akan anak-anak yang tidak punya cukup waktu untuk melangkahkan kakinya ke sekolah? Untuk setiap omelan karena sopir terlambat menjemput, terpikirkah akan anak-anak yang harus menempuh jarak sehari semalam untuk sekedar mengikuti ujian akhir?</div>
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Anak-anakku sayang, berhentilah sejenak dan renungkanlah betapa kalian beruntung sudah diberi kesempatan untuk mendapatkan pendidikan yang layak. Peluklah orangtua kalian dan tataplah mata mereka serta berjanjilah dengan sepenuh hati bahwa kalian akan membuat mereka bangga bukan dengan keberhasilan karena lulus sekolah melainkan karena kalian mampu TUMBUH MENJADI PRIBADI YANG TANGGUH DAN PENUH KASIH PADA SESAMA.</div>
Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-4562110798380329422017-09-13T20:42:00.000+07:002017-09-13T21:01:46.301+07:00Raising Positive Teens 2 - WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD?<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">“Be thankful that your daughter is being
unpredictably difficult to understand,” </span></i>I said. And I could clearly
see that look of disbelief on the face of the well-meaning Mom and Dad who came
to me for advice because their once-sweet girl had turned into an
unpredictable, sulky, moody, and hard to understand young lady. I could almost
hear them say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">“Are you out of your mind?
You’ve got to be kidding!” </span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
No,
I am not. I am serious, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">as serious as a solemn ceremony</span>, if you know what I
mean. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Dear
fellow parents, no questions asked, we do want our children <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>to grow with a healthy
personality</b></span>. We hope to see them succeed in all aspects
of their life. For this, we continuously send prayers for our children’s wellbeing
… as well as for our <span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>sanity</i></span> especially at this time of ‘turmoil.’ And if we are
having difficulties understanding what is happening to them, they are even more
confused dealing with things happening around them – those that they <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: large;"><i>can control</i></span> </b>as well as those they <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"><i>have no choice but to comply</i></span></b>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Well,
remember the ride along the highway with <span style="background-color: white;">Buble</span> singing <i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Home</span></i> from our car stereo
system? And remember that <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">blinding light </span>that came out of nowhere? That sudden
blinding light is the activated <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gonadotropin-releasing
Hormone </i>(GnRH), without which our teenagers will not grow <span style="font-size: large;">taller and
</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">bigger</span>, they will not develop their muscle mass, they will experience <span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">pubertal
failure</span> and they will definitely have <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>no</b></span> functioning reproductive systems. So,
it is that hormone that makes sure our teenagers have <span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">normal physical and
sexual developments</span>. It is also that hormone that makes our teenagers <span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>lose the
directions</i></span> with which they are familiar during the first eleven to twelve years
of their life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
For
one, the surging hormone necessary in this pubertal phase sends them into the
world of <span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">dating and/or sexual exploration</span>. Worrying as this may be, the phase
is completely normal as it helps teens develop their <b><span style="color: #783f04;">sense of self</span></b> as well as discover
their own <span style="color: #783f04;"><b>values, needs, and desires</b></span>. However, it is also important to note
that the <span style="font-size: large;">pre-frontal cortex</span> – the part of the brain responsible for decision
making, controlling impulse, pondering over consequences, planning, and problem
solving - <span style="color: red; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>does not mature </i></span>until later in early adulthood. So, teenagers might
rely heavily on their emotional part of the brain, the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">amygdala</span>, when making
decisions. This may lead to <b>decisions made on impulse, resulting in aggressive,
instinctive and emotional behavior</b>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The
hormonal changes and the “slow” brain development are then faced with <span style="font-size: large;">other
factors</span> that all of a sudden become the center of their being. What has been
happening in the first twelve years of their life does not seem to matter so
much now and they are drawn into other ‘big’ matters. The cute <b style="background-color: #ea9999;">pink</b> dress she
used to love so much is now embarrassing because it makes her look <span style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>fat and
chubby</b></span>. The T-shirt he would wear to <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">any</span> occasions despite our plea to choose
another ‘more proper’ outfit is now <span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">prickly</span> to his skin. The curly hair she
used to be proud of is now the constant source of problem because those curls
give her <span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">bad hair days</span> everyday. Our constant nagging that he would at least
brush his hair before going out has changed into our constant request that he would stop
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">meddling</span> with his spiky hair just because he thinks it needs to be spikier. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
pressure to look good – <span style="color: purple; font-size: x-small;">whatever ‘good’ means in their mind</span> – is starting to pull
our kids away from the comfort of childhood. It seems so important for them to
dress appropriately to be <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">‘accepted’ </span>as members of the teenage community. As if
this were not enough to put them on the constant ‘lookout’ for the latest
trend, the <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">desires to be recognized</span> and <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">to be the first</span> to adopt the latest
craze often drag our teenagers even further down the path towards <span style="color: red; font-size: large;">the loss of
identity</span>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What?
Loss of identity? But I thought they were in search of their identity. </span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With
the faster-than-light advance in communication technology, teenagers nowadays
are facing pressures never before experienced by previous generations. Teenagers
nowadays are presented with tons of medias to ‘help’ them not only find the
newest fad but also express themselves. Unfortunately, with their <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">lack of ability</span>
to make wise choices at this stage, there is a very big risk that they might <b><span style="color: red;">fall
into the trap</span></b> of following trends <u><span style="font-size: large;">just to be recognized</span></u> and not because
they feel comfortable with the new trend. So, instead of finding themselves,
they <span style="color: #990000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">get lost in the identities of their idols</span>. This phenomenon, that seems to happen
earlier in teenage girls than their male counterparts, may lead to an <span style="color: #990000; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">erronuous</span> belief that what they post in their <i>Instagram</i> or <i>Path</i> or whatever medias available out there is a way to<span style="color: blue;"> express themselves</span>. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Is it really?</i></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some teenagers need <span style="font-size: large;"><i>‘followers’ </i></span>and <i><span style="font-size: large;">‘likes’ </span></i>the way humans
need staple food. <b>The more followers they have, the better they feel. </b>The more
‘likes’ they get for their posts, the more boosted their self confidence is.
They post anything that may reap as many ‘likes’ as possible. More often than
not, they fall into the trap of <span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">creating an idealized image</span> that is actually
<span style="font-size: large;">far from their actual self</span>. This creates a great gap between <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>who they think
they are</i></span> and <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">who they appear to be</span>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even
without the <i><span style="color: #7f6000;">cyber stage</span></i>, the
adolescent years are actually the time when teenagers realize there is a big
difference between <span style="font-size: large;">how</span> they want others to see them and <span style="font-size: large;"><i>who</i></span> they think they are.
Later as they get older, as they acquire more skills and are able to show real
achievements of their endeavors, the gap becomes narrower. And now, before they reach that safe pitstop, <span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">social
medias</span> are creating more pressure for them to look <i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">better than they really are</span></i>
and, thus, they risk <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">losing their own identity</span> as well as <span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: large;">self-esteem</span>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
remember this pretty fifteen-year-old who insisted on saying that she was ugly
because she had <span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">pimples</span> – on her face as well as on her back. She came to ask
for advice on the best dermatologist to help her get rid of those annoying
little things. The pressure for her then doubled because she needed not only to look <span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">stunning</span> in pictures she would then post on her <i>cyber stage</i> but also to <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">look good</span> in her
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">outfit</span> that would not betray the accepted ‘standard’ of identity as a teenager. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
need to belong to these accepted standards in their circle, along with the
desire to be recognized, takes them to a new, even more alluring, <span style="font-size: large;">‘playground’ </span>to explore. With facilities now readily ‘available’ for them to test and try, the choices <span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(and risks) </span>are endless. Skipping classes, <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">ganging up on a friend</span>, <i>breaking the curfew</i>,
partying, <span style="color: red;">smoking</span>, <span style="color: #660000; font-size: x-small;"><b>vaping</b></span>, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">drinking</span>, <span style="color: #3d85c6;">speeding</span>, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-small;">sexting</span>, <span style="color: purple; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">porns</span>, <i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">free sex</span></i> … the list continues. Exploring
and venturing out into the ‘cool’ stuff seem to be very <span style="color: #660000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">hard for them to resist</span> but,
although it sounds grave and worrying, this exploring phase is in fact normal and
necessary to help them <span style="font-size: large;">discover their identity</span> as well as <span style="font-size: large;"><i>develop their
thinking and reasoning skills</i></span>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hold
your horses now! <span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">How</span> do exploring and venturing into those (mis)behaviors help
my teens develop their thinking and reasoning skills, let alone discover
themselves?</span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This
has a lot to do with how the <span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">human brain</span> is wired. Studies have <span style="color: red; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">disproved</span> that
by adolescence, teenagers are equipped with a fully mature brain and it is the
lack of experience that makes them behave they way they do. On the contrary,
continuous researches and studies show that human brain is <span style="font-size: large;">not fully mature</span>
until someone is in their mid twenties; girls’ brain matures earlier than that
of boys. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As
the brain develops from back to front, the <span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">pre-frontal cortex</span>, the part
responsible for examining choices, planning, and making judgments, is the last cerebral
lobe to reach maturity. As the brain develops simultaneously with <i>other changes occuring in their physical,
emotional and mental states</i>, each activity, experience, and pattern of
behavior <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">contributes to the brain development</span> towards maturity. At this stage,
experiences, both negative and positive, continuously <span style="color: red; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">alter</span> the brain as it
matures. Repeated stimuli <b><span style="color: #38761d;">strengthen</span></b> the cellular connections in the brain and
infrequent occurrences result in the <i><span style="color: #134f5c;">pruning</span></i> process of the cellular
connections that are scarcely used. When it comes to brain development, it is
‘<span style="color: #76a5af; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">use it or lose it</span>.’ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It
is clear then that in <u><span style="color: blue;">early adolescence</span></u> (10-13), when the pre-frontal cortex is
far from mature to be able to make sound judgments, it is easy for teenagers to
<i>give in </i>to the urge to explore and
venture into the ‘unknown’ because they want to <span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">experiment with different
behavioral patterns</span>. At a later stage, in the <u><span style="color: #cc0000;">middle adolescence</span></u> (14-17), they
start to venture even further to <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">risky behaviors</span>. Part of it is because they
want to belong to their community and another part is because they are <i><span style="font-size: large;">on the
path </span>to discover themselves and their values</i>. Nevertheless, still immature at this point, the
pre-frontal cortex is still <span style="color: red;">unable</span> to help them <span style="font-size: large;">control impulses</span> and stop them from
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>adopting inappropriate behaviors</i></span>. It is only in the later stage of adolescence
(17-19) that teenagers learn to <span style="color: #a64d79;"><i>assess their own risk taking</i></span>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those
experiences - the experiences of trying out new things and the experiences of accepting the consequences of their behaviors - <span style="font-size: large;">contribute</span> to how the brain matures: <span style="background-color: #f4cccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">the experiences <i>without which</i> the brain does not have enough data to
develop and mature</span>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #f4cccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Isn’t
it clear, then, that ‘letting go’ of our teenagers and accepting them they way
they are, is in fact necessary to <span style="font-size: large;">help them grow up</span> to be functioning adults? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And
isn’t it <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">clearer</span> that it is <span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">at this time</span> that our teenagers need us <span style="color: red; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b><i>most</i></b></span> to be
<span style="font-size: large;">present</span> – not as helicopter parents but as their <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">stronghold</span> </span><span style="font-size: large;">to instill </span><span style="color: #660000; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-large;">values</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span>with which they can <span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">fly</span> and <span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">soar</span> while their wings are still not strong enough. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Coming soon: what parents can do to help</span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-43467561908590314232016-01-31T01:08:00.002+07:002016-01-31T01:14:55.606+07:00Tahukah Engkau, Tuhan?Kalau Tuhan mengenal setiap ciptaanNya bahkan sebelum mereka dikandung, apakah Dia juga tahu bahwa Adam dan Hawa akan jatuh dalam dosa? Tahukah Dia bahwa akan ada seekor ular, yang merupakan ciptaanNya juga, yang menggoda Hawa hingga Hawa kemudian mengajak Adam untuk mereguk 'kebahagiaan' bersama? Apakah Dia tahu bahwa ciptaanNya yang paling sempurna akan mengkhianatiNya?<br />
<br />
Tuhan mengijinkan adanya hal buruk karena dari hal yang buruk akan ada hal baik yang muncul. Akan ada kemuliaan yang menyeruak keluar dari kumpulan dosa dan kesalahan. Apakah ini berarti Tuhan memang menciptakan sebagian makhluk ciptaanNya untuk menjadi martir? Menjadi alat agar kemuliaanNya bersinar dan dapat dirasakan oleh banyak orang?<br />
<br />
Saya belum menemukan jawaban atas pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu tapi saya belajar satu hal. Di antara selaksa ciptaanNya, hanya ciptaanNya di hari keenam inilah yang diciptakan serupa dengan Allah. Manusia diciptakan dengan kebebasan untuk tetap setia dalam persahabatan intim denganNya atau akan mengedepankan kepentingannya sendiri di atas keberserahannya akan kehendak dan aturan Allah. Kebebasan ini merupakan elemen bawaan yang sepertinya merupakan konsekuensi dari menjadi serupa dengan Allah - kita diperlengkapi dengan self-knowledge dan self-possession. Proses pencarian diri menjadi sangat berarti dalam kehidupan manusia karena proses inilah yang akan menjadikan manusia makhluk yang bertumbuh dan mendewasa dan dapat mendekatkan diri pada panggilan yang sudah Dia tetapkan.<br />
<br />
Masalahnya, setiap manusia, dengan dosa asal yang diwariskan oleh Adam dan Hawa, memang akan menua dan kembali menjadi debu. Namun proses menua ini belum tentu dibarengi dengan proses mendewasa yang dibutuhkan untuk makin mendekatkan diri pada hakikat kemuliaan kita sebagai makhluk yang diciptakan sesuai rupa Allah.<br />
<br />
Celakanya lagi, kecerdasan tingkat tinggi yang Tuhan berikan pada setiap dari kita seringkali membuat kita malah merasa menjadi tuhan. Tinggi hati, merasa diri paling pintar dan paling benar. Orang lain hanya makhluk-makhluk kacangan yang mengganggu stabilitas kehidupannya. Sok tahu, merasa mampu membuat kesimpulan untuk masa depan dengan berdalih analisa logika. Sok kuat, merasa punya otoritas atas masalah yang datang tanpa mau berserah pada kehendak Sang Pemberi Kehidupan. Besar kepala, menilai segala sesuatu dari ukuran intelektual sehingga lupa bahwa sebagai makhluk yang diciptakan serupa dengan gambar Allah, manusia diberikan tugas untuk berelasi dengan sesama dalam tataran kasih dan pelayanan.<br />
<br />
“Sebelum Aku membentuk engkau dalam rahim ibumu, Aku telah mengenal engkau, dan sebelum engkau keluar dari kandungan, Aku telah menguduskan engkau, Aku telah menetapkan engkau menjadi nabi bagi bangsa-bangsa.” (Yer 1:5) Maka tahukah Engkau, Tuhan, apakah aku akan melangkah menjauhiMu atau akankah aku setia pada panggilanku seumur hidupku?Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-78195991633049853342015-11-07T11:21:00.001+07:002015-11-07T11:21:23.713+07:00The Time God Saved Me In United Kingdom by Nicholas BudimanI was exhausted. I finally reached United Kingdom. I looked around and smelled the fresh air. I could feel the breeze blowing. It was an awesome holiday. Until last night.<br />
<br />
Last night was very scary. It went like this.<br />
I got ready for bed after a long trip from Jogjakarta. I brushed my teeth, did my "business", and changed my clothes then I jumped to bed and turned on the TV. I watched BBC and fell asleep. I woke up three hours later feeling very cold. The lights were off, the TV was off, and the AC was on. I didn't remember doing all these stuff. It was very creepy and scary. I pulled the covers and tried to sleep. Well, I couldn't sleep because I felt something weird.<br />
<br />
I couldn't sleep because I felt something watching me from the corner of the room. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. Suddenly I was surrounded by a thick white mist. I wasn't on the bed anymore. I was on plain ground. I looked around and saw a big shadow coming closer to me. I screamed and prayed numerous times until the mist dissolved. The big shadow wasn't there and I was back in my room in the original state, light on, TV on, and AC off. Since that night I never went back to that room. I changed rooms with another customer.<br />
<br />
FIVE YEARS LATER<br />
I walked into a book and movie store. I asked the owner about horror books and movies then I found a book entitled "The Ghosts of The United Kingdom" and I also found a movie entitled "The Black Shadow". I bought both the book and the film and brought them home. At home I started to read the book and I realised the story was like my experience. So I stopped and watched the movie. Halfway through the movie I saw the black shadow and I froze. The black shadow was the shadow from my experience five years earlier.<br />
<br />
The End<br />
<br />
#noeditLili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-95682633308954322015-10-27T16:10:00.002+07:002015-11-07T11:21:46.500+07:00The Time I Went Camping - Part 1 by Nicholas BudimanIt was dark when we reached there. The boat rocked when it hit the side. I woke up from my dreamless sleep and looked up. We were on a misty island with a small red brick house, a bed of dead flowers and mist beyond the flowers. We walked up the island and set camp in the red brick house.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I woke up because I heard a sound. A strange, yet familiar sound. I took my flashlight and walked outside. I walked slowly out of the red brick house and looked around. I saw something bright in the lake. I heard the familiar sound again. I looked to the left and walked slowly to the bed of dead flowers. There, the sound was so clear I could feel it in my body. Then I realised it was my dogs howling. A shower of relief washed over me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I walked up to the red brick house and slipped inside. I was shocked because suddenly the red brick house was full of weird animals running around. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I shot up in the tent and looked around. I realised that it was only a dream. Suddenly, I heard a strange yet familiar sound. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
~ to be continued </div>
Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-50395924073773127832015-10-18T10:29:00.001+07:002015-11-20T02:47:53.208+07:00I Love You As I Love You<div>
<br />
It's funny that time and time again people should feel the need to elaborate and define the kind of love they have towards someone. It's true that 'love' has a lot of different meanings in different contexts but when two people truly love each other they should readily know the kind of love that they both share. There should be no need for elaboration. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To me, love is unique. </div>
<div>
It's unique for each individual that becomes the object of my affection.</div>
<div>
I love different people in different ways, at different depths. No two people get exactly the same kind of love; simply because love is as unique as the people feeling it. Thus, love speaks for itself and needs no explanation. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For me, love goes beyond mere reasons.</div>
<div>
At one point in my life, I came to realize that I don't need to have definite reasons for loving someone the way I do. Love exists because of love itself. I don't love someone due to particular qualities that they have. I may like someone because he's kind. I may like someone because she's smart. I may even like someone because he looks stunning. But when I love someone, it's just because I love them. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The way I see it, love is everything that is not. </div>
<div>
It's almost impossible to define what love entails. Happiness, content, passion, serenity, calmness? Or sadness, wishful longings and hopes, uncertainties, nerve-wracking anticipations, anxieties? Love is everything that is intoxicating, and yet everything that is disconsolating. Because one cannot exist without the other. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And to me, love is love. </div>
<div>
I don't love someone as a lover.</div>
<div>
I don't love someone as a child.</div>
<div>
I don't love someone as a parent.</div>
<div>
I don't love someone as a sibling.</div>
<div>
I don't love someone as a friend.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I love someone as an individual that completes me.</div>
<div>
I love someone as they are.</div>
<div>
I can't define who and what they are to me because love goes beyond who and what.<br />
<br />
<br />
Oct 18, 2015<br />
01.23<br />
<br />
Also dedicated to a friend who's in a dilema ~ love is bound to bring confusion ☺.</div>
Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-87379176045319709942015-08-03T11:04:00.002+07:002020-10-07T01:47:00.242+07:00I Am Letting You Grow<br />
"Can I go to school by bike, Mom?" Nick has been asking that question for months now and the thought of my 11-year-old boy riding in a 'wild and scary' traffic was enough to make my stomach churn. It was not so much because of the distance, but, in my opinon, the traffic was really unbelievable. "Not yet," was the only 'logical' answer I could give him. Until one day he changed his request. "Tomorrow, can I go to church by bike, Mom?"<br />
<br />
It's only about 1km from home to our church but, again, that's not the point. I didn't know what to say but I knew I had to make a decision.<br />
<br />
His adamant request brought me back to the time when he insisted on going camping with Woodcamp. It was a hard decision for me to let my then 8-year-old boy go on a camping trip to a place I hardly know. I remember clearly how worried and uneasy I was before he left. I remember even more clearly how I felt during the time that he was away. Lots of "what if's" came rushing into my head in torrents. I also remember that in the end I surrendered in continuous prayers, asking God to stay with him every single second.<br />
<br />
Did he come back fine?<br />
No! He didn't come back just fine. He came back wonderfully. He came back a new person - happier, more mature, and more confident than he had been before he left. Proudly, he told us all. He told us that camping was fun. He also told us, with immeasurable pride, that he was worried at night but he could conquer it. It was then I knew that my little boy, my little Eaglet, had grown up. He was ready to soar. And I, too, should be ready to have an empty nest soon.<div><div>
<br />
"But him riding a bike on the road by himself is a different matter," I heard myself say. Going camping is a lot safer because he is never alone. He has companies. Should anything happen to him, there would be his buddies and coaches to help him. But riding a bike on his own? What if? And there I was with fears and worries running through my head. I could hear myself saying "I know I have to let him do it. It's just not now."<br />
<br />
His Dad was more at ease with the idea of Nick riding to church, though. "It's not that far," he said. And, I guess, the fact that he started going places by himself on his bike at the age of 12 made it easier for him to say yes. Still, I was not very sure. As the day came to an end, I still couldn't make a decision, but I was not as adamant as I was before. I still had a few more hours to think and consider but I knew I had to decide soon.<br />
<br />
The next day, before the break of dawn, some very strong words hit me. "You have to let him grow. Just believe in God's grace. In the name of love for Nick and his future" a friend told me. It was spot on.<br />
<br />
If I truly love him, I have to let him grow.<br />
<br />
In the morning, his Dad and I had the "final" talk. We agreed that our decisions about his camping trips had been fruitful for Nick and it was all because we had given him a chance; a chance to prove himself and a chance to grow. So when he said "If you didn't give him a chance, he wouldn't grow," my mind was made up.<br />
<br />
I am letting you grow, My Li'l Eaglet.<br />
Fly! Soar! My prayers are always with you.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div></div>Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-30076421038174059592014-06-23T23:29:00.001+07:002014-06-23T23:29:28.463+07:00Apalah Arti Uang Receh Repost from Sept 08, 2013<br />
<br />
"Terima kasih, Mba.." kata Mba Kasir sambil memberikan uang kembalian berikut sebuah permen kecil berbungkus hijau. Permen itu bukan bonus karena berbelanja di mini market tersebut, tapi karena Mba Kasir tidak punya uang recehan untuk kembalian Rp. 200,-. Memori saya tentang permen pengganti receh ini melekat cukup kuat padahal kejadian seperti itu sudah sangat lama tidak pernah saya alami lagi; mungkin lebih dari lima tahun. Saya tidak ingat apakah sekarang masih ada mini market atau supermarket yang masih menggunakan permen sebagai alat bayar. Namun dulu fenomena ini sangat marak baik di supermarket, mini market, ataupun restaurant sampai-sampai ada artikel yang membahasnya.<br />
<br />
Artikel tersebut, yang entah ditulis oleh siapa, berkesan cukup mendalam karena sampai sekarang saya masih suka senyum geli kalau ingat atau membahas itu lagi. Dalam artikel itu dipertanyakan apakah kita boleh membayar dengan menggunakan permen untuk benda seharga di bawah Rp. 500,-. Bayangkan, sungguh pemandangan yang menggelikan bukan kalau ada orang yang mengeluarkan uang sebesar Rp. 1.000,- berikut beberapa buah permen untuk membeli sebungkus kopi instan seharga Rp. 1.500,-? Jujur, saya sangat ingin mencoba tapi saya masih terlalu sayang pada harga diri untuk mencoba melakukan hal sekocak itu.<br />
<br />
Setelah bertahun-tahun permen kembalian menghilang dari kebudayaan jual-beli kita - minimal saya tidak pernah mengalami lagi - saya menemukan fenomena lain sehubungan dengan uang kembalian. Kali ini saya rasa jauh lebih parah daripada permen kembalian.<br />
<br />
Akhir tahun lalu, 2012, saya makan malam bersama keluarga di sebuah restaurant Jepang yang baru buka di sebuah mall di bilangan utara kota Bandung. Setelah selesai, kami membayar dan menerima kembalian. Waktu saya hitung ternyata uang kembalian yang saya terima tidak sesuai; kekurangannya Rp. 1.800,-. Hati saya tergelitik untuk bertanya tapi saya malu. Dalam hati saya mengatakan pada diri sendiri, "Ah, uang kecil koq pake ribut. Makan saja kita menghabiskan sekian ratus ribu, masa uang kecil ribut." Tapi sesaat sebelum memasukkan uang kembalian yang kurang tadi berikut notanya ke dalam dompet, saya sadar ternyata ada minuman kaleng yang belum tertagihkan. Di supermarket, minuman seperti itu harganya di bawah Rp. 10.000,- jadi saya menyiapkan uang Rp. 15.000,- dan pergilah kita ke meja kasir untuk membayar. Nota tagihan untuk minuman kaleng tersebut keluar dan ternyata saya harus membayar sekitar Rp. 17.000,- termasuk tax & service. Waktu saya merogoh tas untuk mengeluarkan kekurangannya, suami saya berkata, "Pakai saja selisih uang kita yang ada di kembalian tadi." Mungkin karena merasa tidak enak hati, maka Mas Kasir mengiyakan.<br />
<br />
Saya pikir kejadian seperti ini hanya terjadi di restoran ini; karena baru buka jadi masih belum siap uang receh untuk uang kembali. Ternyata saya keliru. Malam ini saya makan di restoran Jepang yang baru buka di area Bandung tengah. Karena katanya ada perbedaan management antara penyedia makanan dan minuman, maka minuman dibayar lebih dulu dalam nota terpisah. Ternyata minuman memang disediakan oleh restoran Jepang satu lantai di bawah sementara kami makan di restoran Jepang (yang berbeda jenis) di lantai dua. Saat membayar dan menerima uang kembali dari kedua restoran ini, saya mendapati bahwa uang kembali yang saya terima tidak sesuai. Kali ini jumlah kekurangannya jauh lebih kecil, hanya hitungan di bawah Rp. 1.000,-. Saya tidak mau memperpanjang masalah karena, lagi-lagi, saya malu meributkan uang kecil padahal saya menghabiskan beberapa ratus ribu di restoran itu. Tapi hati saya penasaran dan jadi teringat kejadian akhir tahun lalu. Karena itu, saat sang pelayan restoran memberikan kuestioner, tumpahlah unek-unek dalam hati saya.<br />
<br />
Setelah saya renungkan, saya teringat bahwa saya cukup sering mengalami uang kembalian receh yang diminta oleh pihak supermarket. Salah satu supermarket chain besar di Indonesia mempunyai kebiasaan untuk "meminta" uang kembalian sejumlah di bawah Rp. 500,-. Permintaannya kurang lebih seperti ini, "Dua ratus rupiahnya boleh untuk disumbangkan, Bu?" Dan jumlah yang diminta itu akan dicantumkan dalam struk belanja sebagai "donasi". Setelah merenung, saya sadar bahwa saya tidak pernah merasa kesal dengan kejadian ini. Mungkin karena judulnya donasi, saya lebih yakin uang receh itu akan berguna untuk orang-orang yang memang membutuhkan.<br />
<br />
Saya tersadar bahwa ini bukan mengenai jumlahnya tetapi lebih pada kejujuran kasir dan/atau pemilik restoran tadi.
Saya yakin tulisan saya di kuestioner restoran tadi hanya mewakili segelintir orang saja, tapi setidaknya saya puas dengan mengungkapkan apa yang saya rasakan. Mudah-mudahan ini hanya kejadian sekali-sekali yang terpaksa dilakukan karena restoran baru tersebut belum menyiapkan uang receh untuk uang kembali. Mudah-mudahan ini tidak akan menjadi fenomena pengganti dari fenomena sebelumnya yaitu menggunakan permen sebagai alat bayar.Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-66763513325972137702014-06-20T08:41:00.003+07:002021-07-18T20:11:01.145+07:00My Me Time, Alone In Bali<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">This is the last day of my holiday, my me time, alone in Bali. What have
I accomplished? Have I achieved what I came here for? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">A friend said that if I wanted to do some contemplating and reflecting,
I was supposed to come to a guru. I wasn't supposed to be by myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Another friend said that if I wanted to refresh and renew, rediscover my
reasons for being, I was supposed to join a meditation class. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I lead with my heart. My heart said I should go by myself. My heart said
I should spend some time alone. And I did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">So, how did it go? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In the beginning it was rather awkward. At the airport I saw people
going in groups, small and big - with families, with a partner, with friends -
and this made me feel somewhat selfish. There I was, leaving for a holiday in
Bali, all by myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Then, as soon as I reached Bali, I felt a lot better. I left my family
at home but I knew that part of this trip was for my family. I didn't like the
me that I had turned into the last few months. Well, I did see how I'd changed
in the last few years. But the last few months were terrible. I was in the
brink of a nervous breakdown. I even had a few anxiety attacks that once led me
to the ER. And once, without warning, I found myself opening up to my very
close friends, something I would not do in normal circumstances. This is surely a sign that I could bear it no longer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">A friend told me to go around Bali and have fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Another friend told me to visit Kintamani and Bedugul for reasons I did not care to find out. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Another friend advised me to rent a car and go to places I want to
visit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Again, I lead with my heart. My heart said I should just stay still and
be quiet. My heart said I should just contemplate. And I did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Anyway, keeping my words not to deal with work and my small
"universe" was tougher than I thought. I knew that some friends told
me to just turn off my line of communication. No mobile devices whatsoever. I
tried that, but it made me uneasy. I wanted my life to be on pause. But I
wanted life around me to run as usual. I wanted to know that my world still
revolved even without me present, because that was what my trip was about. I
wanted to be on the sideline from time to time. I didn't like to be the centre
of my small "universe." I didn't like to be the "military
base" (borrowing Nick's terms about me). I didn't want to be the most
important part of my small "universe." And keeping my mobile devices
on allowed me to see and feel that the world did revolve without me present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Keeping my mobile devices on (most of the time) also made me realize
that I matter in this world. I know that I am needed and I am missed (Sorry for
not replying your texts or answering your calls, though. Nothing personal,
really!). I also know that what I do in this world matters. Otherwise, people
would not realize I was "missing." Well, I guess this is just me
being vain. #blush# <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">This alone has made me realize that I should just embrace whatever role
God has entrusted me with. I shouldn't have complained. I shouldn't have
whined. I should just embrace. I should just enjoy it while it lasts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Well, several times during this "me time", I felt like I blew
it. I was negatively affected by what was going on. I failed to embrace the
moment. I forgot to let go. I snapped. I controlled. I dominated, even from
afar. I even thought that the whole trip would be a waste. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">But, I'd like to believe that God knows me soooo well that He kept on
pushing me to the limit so I could see which way to go once I reached the
diverging lanes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">There was once a memorable incident. (Well, the word
"memorable" cannot quite describe it, but I can't think of a better
word.) I was sitting on the beach, far from the water line. I didn't want to
get wet so I stayed in a safe distance. I looked at the waves. I listened to
the sound of the wind, the sound of the water, the sound of nature, the sound
of "God." Then, there they came... feelings that I knew I had to let
go but I stubbornly kept in the centre of my heart. Feelings that I was
supposed to just let go so I could move on with my life. Feelings that hurt me
so much. Feelings that became the biggest reason for this trip. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Then God touched me</b>. He came with the
water that suddenly touched me. I was sitting very far from the water line. I
didn't want to get wet. But the water lapped my feet. I was sitting very far
from the water line but the water came close to me. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">God touched me</b>. That's how I want to believe. Because right at that
moment I knew... I knew why... I knew how... I just knew... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">And now, at the end of my trip, I can proudly say that I have
accomplished some of the things I set out to do. I'm going home with a new
perspective on life. I'm going home knowing that I'm not alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">There is a big gaping hole, a deep scar, that I have to carry home now,
though. But still, I'm happy. This scar is a reminder that I'm human. I'm
alive. I have feelings. I'm not numb. After all, what's the point of living
when we can no longer feel. I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I came here hoping to refresh and renew. I'm going home with new
perspectives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I came here hoping to rediscover my reasons for being. I'm going home
with confidence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I came here hoping to wash away my pain, my burdens. I'm going home with
an aching heart to remind me I'm human. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I am content. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">PS: </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Thank you, my Beacon, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/aan.budiman.73?fref=ts">Aan</a>, for understanding how I need this trip. </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Thank you, my Little Eaglet, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/nicholas.budiman.9?fref=ts">Nick</a>, for letting me have this precious
"me-time." </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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that you must've sent continuous prayers while I'm here. </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Thank you, my dearest Sister, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/meily.widarsa?fref=ts">Meily</a>, for not questioning me why. </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Thank you, my ever-understanding Sister, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mey.chandra?fref=ts">Memey</a>, for showing me that it's
ok. </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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support. </span><span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: "Lucida Grande"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="background-color: white; background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Thank you, my Invaluable Guru, Sapta Dwikardana, for showing me that I'm
not (that) weird. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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but never will you ever be forgotten.. You are forever in my heart.. Till we
meet again.. I love you...</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-60936334938269208352014-06-18T15:23:00.001+07:002014-06-18T15:36:47.350+07:00Raising Positive Teens - Part 1<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: I think Koko Dylan doesn't want to play with me anymore. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: Why do you think so?</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: He's always so busy with his i-Pod and he almost never talks to me now. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: O yes, I can see that. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: He used to play with us but now he's very quiet. Maybe he doesn't like me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: Koko Dylan is turning into a teenager, Nick. It's not that he doesn't like YOU. He likes different things now. His own music, his own gadget..</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: Are all teenagers like that? </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: Hhhhmmm... All teenagers, like all children, are different. But most children change when they turn into teenagers.</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: How?</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: For one, they're sometimes snappy.. especially to their own parents.</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: I will NEVER change. I will NEVER be like Koko Dylan. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: Okay.... <i>(searching for the right words)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nick: And I will NEVER be snappy.. especially to you! I love you<i>.. (tears welling up his little eyes)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me: I love you, Nick... <i>(hugging him even tighter, knowing that this, too, shall pass one day)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It happened almost two years ago when he was just eight; when he was still my little knight, my little eaglet, my biggest fan... Now, he's five months short to eleven years old and he has forgotten his promise not to be snappy. He's snappy when we ask him to repeat a statement that we fail to understand. He's snappy when things don't go his way. He's snappy when we ask him to do things he doesn't want to do. And that's not all... He locks his bedroom door. He doesn't listen and always asks "why?" in a more pressing manner. He enjoys spending more time with his friend than with his once-inseperable cousin. He ignores us from time to time. And he's just a pre-teen!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, he still kisses me in private as well as in public, holds my hands when walking, hugs me when he comes home from school (when he's no too tired), cuddles and asks me to tuck him in every night. Part of him is still the little eaglet that I know. But I know that very soon he's going to fly and soar, reaching his own star. And when the time comes, I'm gonna have to let go. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My fellow parents, when your once-sweet-and-cute-and-cuddly babies turn to somebody remotely similar to the ones you know for over 10 years, do not panic! Instead, be HAPPY and be THANKFUL!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But how can we be happy and thankful for those hard times? It's soooo hard to love that snappy little mouth; not to mention the hawk-eye look everytime we ask him to do something he doesn't want to do or the cold shoulder we get everytime we want to know what's going on in that not-so-little mind. Well, let's first look at the big picture and once you can see that with a clear mind, your roller coaster journey with your teens will be worthwhile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">First, let's look at what happens in different stages of life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nobody, your child included, is born with established identity, except for the genetic traits that you pass down to him. So when your child is born, he is a clean slate. In the first five years of his life, he accumulates as much data as possible from the world around him. The next five years is a period when the data is refined and your child shows certain behavior that reflects his sense of self according to the data he has previously accumulated. During pre-teen, between 10 and 12 years of age, your child is forming beliefs about the world and about himself. These beliefs rule his actions (moral and ethics). Then, after about 12 years living the safe and comfortable life as he knows it, suddenly, BAM!!!! along comes puberty. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In this period - PUBERTY - <i>"everything he knows about life and about himself is swept away in a rush of surging hormones and he has to START OVER."</i> (Positive Discipline For Teenagers - Nelson and Lott) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Imagine yourself driving along a smooth highroad, Michael Buble singing "Home" in the background, windows down so you can feel the breeze... then, out of nowhere, you see light in front of you, so bright that you lose control of where to go. Having passed this road a thousand times, you know perfectly well there is no turning so you only have one choice: drive on! You keep going, more slowly, trying to figure out what is happening and where you are heading. That, my fellow parents, is what our children are feeling when they enter adolescence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Adolescence, or the teenage years, is a transition time for kids and parents alike. If you think it's hard for you, it's even harder for them! They are feeling some things they have never felt before. They experience changes to their bodies that they can only imagine before. All that they have learnt about puberty, at school as well as at home, come rushing to them in pails, in buckets, and in torrents. They are at a loss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To make matters worse, the education system all over the world sees this time as the perfect momentum to separate our children from the trusted and well-established connection in a stable group of primary teachers. During high school, teachers do not relate to students on a personal level anymore because, at this time, teachers change every hour according to subjects. Children can no longer feel safe in the hands of one or two teachers that can give them constant guidance to help them understand. Now, they have many teachers but none of them show interest in getting to know them personally. They come and go as the bell rings. They've lost a trusted source of information. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How about parents? Us? Well, with a growing needs to survive in this modern world, most families need to have two sources of income, both from the dad and the mom. Thus, you have less time to spend with your children. When you do hang out together, more often than not, you choose safe subjects; subjects that do not intrude and subjects that do not need serious discussions. This is for the sake of quality time, some people say. But one thing that most people share in common is that they don't feel at ease talking about hormonal changes, sexual or non sexual - the one area that your children are at a complete loss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then, there is the inexplicable need to "rediscover" themselves. They no longer want to be associated with being kids. They want to separate from the stereotype of being children. They are big now. They want you to know that they can do things without your help (read: hovering around and breathing down their neck). However, they know perfectly well that they need you to help them survive. Yet, they are too proud to ask. They need to create a new identity, an identity that they can call their own. They are no longer your little knight, little princess, little eaglet, little owlet, little fawn, and other sweet looking babies you can think of. They need to come out of their shell - transforming like a butterfly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For them to be able to do this, they need support. From you, the parents. They need you to say that everything will be alright. They need to hear from you "It's ok, dear. Go seize the day. Make mistakes and learn from them! We're here whenever you need us."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But what happens in real life? As parents, we worry. As parents, we want to protect them. As parents, we want to make sure they're safe. As parents, we want them to succeed. As parents, we want them to avoid the mistakes that we did in the past when we were their age. To safe them from failure, from getting hurt, from being left behind. We want to safe them from a process of growing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fellow parents, this series of articles "Raising Positive Teens" are not meant to instruct you. This is merely a reminder that we were once a teenager. We might have been lost in the past but we came out fine. We might have failed in the past, but we got up and continued our journey. And here we are, stronger than before. Let's help our teenagers survive their own battle, by first getting to know what's going on in their little world of adolescence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">Next in the series:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">- what your teenagers are facing in the outside world</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">- how we can help them survive</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-23902445215033132772014-06-17T14:37:00.001+07:002014-06-18T09:38:49.188+07:00Berserah Bukan Menyerah<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Buatku, kehidupan seperti sebuah <i>event </i>marathon. Di saat kita memutuskan untuk ikut dalam kegiatan ini, hanya ada satu pilihan: SELESAIKAN sampai ke garis finish! Well, tentu saja ada pilihan untuk berhenti di tengah, menyerah dan drop out. Tapi setiap <i>marathon runners</i> selalu mempersiapkan diri mereka dengan serius. Latihan dan persiapan yang mereka lakukan menunjukkan bahwa <i>quitting is never an option. </i>Jadi saat mereka memulai, hanya satu yang ada dalam pikiran mereka: <i>reach the finish line!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seperti itulah aku melihat kehidupan. Sebuah pertandingan marathon. Bedanya adalah bahwa kita sebagai peserta tidak memilih dengan rela hati. Apa pun alasan orangtua kita saat mereka melahirkan kita, kita DIPAKSA untuk menjadi peserta <i>marathon event</i> SEUMUR HIDUP kita. Seperti Pheidippides, <i>messenger</i> dan pahlawan Yunani, yang harus berlari dari <i>Battle of Marathon</i> ke Atena dengan satu tujuan: menyampaikan berita kemenangan mereka. Konon, begitu tujuan tercapai, Pheidippides langsung tumbang dan mati. Bagiku legenda ini tragis. Namun bagi sejarah hal ini adalah tindakan kepahlawanan. Dan seperti inilah aku melihat kehidupan. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Aku yakin di atas sana Tuhan punya peta kehidupan yang harus kita selesaikan. Suka tidak suka, mau tidak mau, rela hati atau terpaksa, tantangan dan rintangan sudah dipetakan juga dalam buku kehidupan kita. Bagaimana kita menjalani rangkaian tantangan dan rintangan itu lah yang akan menentukan <i>reward</i> yang bisa kita terima di akhir kehidupan. Sebagai <i>marathon runners</i>, kita punya banyak pilihan bagaimana kita menyelesaikan pertandingan kita. Kita bisa memilih untuk berlari sambil bernyanyi, berlari sambil menggerutu, berlari dengan penuh semangat, atau berlari sambil marah-marah, berlari dengan selalu fokus pada tujuan akhir, atau berlari asal tanpa arah... we have all the choices! Satu hal yang tidak bisa kita pilih adalah berhenti. <span style="font-size: large;">Quitting is never an option!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku pribadi, dalam Life Marathon - pertandingan marathon kehidupan - aku punya dua pilihan besar: berserah atau menyerah?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hhhmmm... berserah atau menyerah? Pilihan yang mempunyai dasar kata yang sama tapi punya arti yang sangat berbeda. Walaupun pada prakteknya perbedaan itu seringkali tidak terlihat, dan alhasil yang terjadi adalah manusia (baca: aku) menjadi apatis dan kehilangan motivasi...berlari asal tanpa arah!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sebagai seorang yang terlahir dominan kortex (pinjem istilah fingerprint analysis), konsep berserah itu sangat menakutkan. Konsep berserah bagiku tidak dapat diterima dengan mudah karena tidak dapat diterima oleh logika. Bagaimana tidak? Berserah berarti mempercayakan diri kita sepenuhnya pada Sang Pencipta dengan menanggalkan semua hak pribadi kita dan membuang semua kedagingan kita. Berserah dilakukan dengan rela hati tanpa paksaan dari siapa pun dan karena kondisi apa pun. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dengan mempercayakan diri sepenuhnya pada Sang Pencipta dan menanggalkan semua hak-hak pribadi kita dengan rela hati dan tanpa paksaan, kita tetap merasa aman dan damai. Kita selalu yakin bahwa rintangan apa pun yang kita temukan dalam Life Marathon kita, semua pasti baik-baik saja. Ibaratnya kalau kita diminta untuk melompat dari gedung 73 lantai, kita tinggal lompat tanpa berpikir, karena kita tahu di dasar sudah ada kasur besar dan empuk yang akan "menangkap" tubuh kita. Tapi mari berhenti sejenak... Apakah kita yakin bahwa kasur besar itu cukup anginnya dan tidak akan tiba-tiba kempes pes pes? Apakah kita yakin bahwa kita akan mendarat di situ? Atau malah salah sasaran dan mendarat di trotoar? Apakah kita yakin bahwa angin tidak akan tiba-tiba bertiup dan kita tiba-tiba membentur jendela-jendela gedung? Ah, sudah lah.. otakku memang sulit menerima bahwa ada hal-hal yang tidak perlu dipikirkan. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tapi Tuhan memang hebat dalam mendewasakan manusia. Dalam perjalanan Life Marathon yang sudah disiapkan khusus bagiku, aku tentu saja sering harus menghadapi rintangan dan tantangan. Dari segala rintangan yang aku harus lewati, ada satu masalah besar yang sangat mengganggu. Pelik, menyesakkan dada, dan seolah tak berujung. Bertahun-tahun masalah ini aku coba hadapi dengan kekuatan otakku yang tidak terlalu besar. Aku menolak berhenti berusaha dan berjuang agar aku mampu keluar dari masalah ini. Kalau ibarat petinju, aku sudah babak belur, berdarah-darah, patah tulang di beberapa tempat. Dan aku masih terus berusaha dengan usaha dan kekuatanku sendiri, menolak untuk berserah. Bukan karena aku tidak percaya pada Sang Pencipta, tapi karena aku takut. Konsep berserah ini membuatku seolah tak berdaya. Dan aku tidak suka berada dalam posisi tidak berdaya. Aku pejuang. Aku seorang <i>fighter</i>. Walaupun aku tahu tenaga dan pikiranku terbatas tapi dalam hidupku aku selalu berpikir bahwa kalau aku tidak berjuang, aku akan mati. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Setelah bertahun-tahun, akhirnya aku lelah berjuang. Aku mulai memaksakan diri untuk menikmati masalah dan tekanan yang aku alami. Sebagai pelari Life Marathon aku tidak punya pilihan kecuali terus berlari. Aku punya pilihan untuk berlari sambil marah dan menyesali nasib. Tapi aku tahu bahwa dengan begitu, perjalananku akan terasa sangat berat dan aku akan terus berdarah-darah. Jadi aku memutuskan untuk berlari sambil bernyanyi. Aku berlari sambil terus fokus pada satu tujuan, menyelesaikan pertandingan marathon hidupku. Aku berlari tanpa bertanya lagi "why me?". Sudah lelah aku bertanya karena tidak pernah mendapat jawaban. Akhirnya aku melakukan satu-satunya hal yang paling aku hindari selama hidupku. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Aku tidak berserah. <span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Aku menyerah</span>. Kenapa? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Karena pada saat kita <span style="color: blue;">berserah</span>, kita melakukannya dengan rela hati tanpa paksaan. Pada saat kita berserah, kita berani melompat dari gedung 73 lantai tanpa berpikir. Just do! Damai sejahtera dan sukacita menjadi reward yang sudah pasti didapatkan di tangan tanpa usaha. Tanggalkan semua hak pribadi dan kedagingan kita. Kita seperti sebuah botol kosong yang hanyut dibawa aliran air. Kemana pun Sang Pencipta membawa kita, kita yakin dan percaya kita akan sampai tujuan dengan selamat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Namun <span style="color: #990000;">menyerah</span> berarti kita menerima kekalahan kita. Kita berjuang sampai titik darah penghabisan dan akhirnya tahu bahwa semua sia-sia. Ada dua pilihan, terus berjuang dan kita akan terus berdarah dan terluka; atau menyerah dan katakan "cukup!" Cukup sudah benturan, pukulan, tusukan, dan tikaman yang kita dapat terima. Sekarang saatnya kita beristirahat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Saat beristirahat inilah kita punya kesempatan untuk berdiam diri. Refleksi atas semua kejadian dalam hidup kita yang membuat kita berdarah-darah dan terluka di seluruh tubuh dan jiwa kita. Saat beristirahat inilah otak dan tubuh kita berdiam. Telinga dan mata hati kita mulai bekerja lebih tajam. Janji-janji yang diberikan Sang Pencipta mulai terdengar masuk akal dan lebih mudah dicerna. Sebagian mungkin karena otak dan tubuh kita sudah lelah bekerja. Sebagian lagi mungkin karena ini adalah tujuanNya sejak awal. Agar kita bertumbuh menjadi dewasa. Agar kita bertumbuh menjadi manusia baru yang lebih siap untuk masuk dalam tempat yang sudah Dia siapkan bagi kita. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku, hidup adalah pertandingan marathon. Quitting is never an option. Reaching the finish line is a must.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku, berserah tidak mendewasakan. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku, menyerah adalah saat kita keluar dari bejana yang sudah melebur dan membentuk kita. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku, menyerah adalah saat di mana logika berhenti bicara. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bagiku, menyerah adalah saat kita mampu mendengar suara Sang Pencipta dengan lebih jelas. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Karena pada saat kita menyerah, kita menanggalkan semua ke-aku-an kita dan mulai membiarkan kuasa Sang Pencipta bekerja. </span><br />
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Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-53283787598129291522014-06-05T14:10:00.001+07:002014-06-24T18:32:35.848+07:00Happy Birthday To Me
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Biasanya
hari terakhir menjelang tiup lilin, saya merenung. Merenung tentang keinginan
pribadi untuk tahun berikutnya. Merenung juga tentang berkat sepanjang tahun
yang saya terima, tapi kebanyakan apa yang mengisi kepala adalah cita-cita
besar untuk setahun di depan. Apalagi setelah beberapa tahun saya lakukan ini
dan Big Boss selalu campur tangan mengabulkan keinginan saya, saya semakin
gigih mencari <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my wish for the next year.</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Tahun ini,
menjelang lilin ke-41, saya kembali merenung, mencari kualitas diri apa yang
ingin saya capai lebih sempurna. Sesungguhnya perenungan tahun ini tampaknya sudah
dimulai lebih cepat karena sejak dua bulan lalu saya seringkali berpikir
tentang ini. Tapi sampai saat saya duduk di depan laptop, belum ada satu pun
kata yang terpikir. Hmmm… apakah ini efek <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mid-life
crisis </i>seperti yang terus menerus digaungkan oleh beberapa teman? I don’t
know… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Jadi apa
yang ada dalam kepala saya? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Perenungan
malam ini banyak membuat saya tercekat, jantung saya berdegup kencang, dan
bernafas pun terasa agak sulit. (Harus hati-hati, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">or else </i>saya bisa masuk IGD lagi.. hahaha…) Anyway, kilasan-kilasan pengalaman muncul begitu jelas membuat menyesakkan dada. Malam ini saya seperti menonton film kehidupan saya dengan jelas. Dan perenungan
malam ini seperti menjadi tanda betapa saya ternyata sangat menginginkan
kehidupan yang berbeda. Perenungan malam ini seperti menjadi momentum pengingat
bahwa bersyukur membuat saya menjadi malas membuat perubahan dalam hidup. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Don’t get me
wrong… Saya tetap bersyukur dengan segala berkat melimpah yang tidak pernah
berhenti mengalir dalam kehidupan saya. Tuhan Yesus tidak pernah meninggalkan
saya. Tidak pernah satu detik pun Dia ijinkan saya berdiri sendiri menentang
badai. Tidak pernah satu detik pun Dia biarkan saya memikul beban saya
sendirian. Tidak pernah satu detik pun Dia biarkan saya jatuh. Dia selalu ada
memegang erat tangan saya, berjalan perlahan menyusuri jalan setapak, betapa
pun berat dan sulit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Don’t get me
wrong.. again… Saya yakin bahwa karena saya selalu bersyukur akan semua hal,
hidup menjadi lebih berarti. Saya yakin bahwa karena saya bersyukur akan semua
hal, yang baik maupun yang tidak, saya mampu bangun pagi setiap hari dengan
keyakinan bahwa semua pasti baik-baik saja. Saya yakin bahwa karena saya
bersyukur saya mampu bertahan hingga saat ini.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Tapi malam
ini saya melihat betapa selama ini rasa bersyukur ini akhirnya membuat saya <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nrimo</i> dan tidak mau lagi berusaha. Saya
takut bermimpi dan takut berharap. Pada akhirnya saya memaksa diri saya untuk
menghentikan mimpi dan harapan yang saya miliki supaya saya tidak perlu kecewa.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Saya ingat
di satu masa betapa keras usaha saya menyuarakan keinginan dan harapan saya. Saya
ingat dengan sangat jelas betapa kuat saya mengulurkan tangan dan meraih. Saya ingat rasa itu. Saya ingat kesedihan itu. Saya
ingat betapa saya berdoa meminta dan meminta supaya keadaan bisa berpihak pada saya. Saya
ingat berdoa dan menyerahkan segalanya ke dalam tangan-Nya. Saya ingat rasa itu.
Saya ingat kesedihan dan kekecewaan itu, saat saya melihat perlahan-lahan
harapan itu lepas dari genggaman, hanyut terbawa air mata. Dan saya ingat pada
akhirnya saya mengubur semua harapan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Malam ini,
di ujung usia 40, saya tidak punya permintaan besar. Saya tidak meminta Tuhan
menjadikan hidup saya berarti bagi orang lain seperti harapan saya beberapa
tahun lalu. Saya tidak meminta Tuhan menjadikan saya terang bagi orang lain
seperti harapan saya beberapa tahun lalu. Saya tidak meminta Tuhan menjadikan
saya manusia bijaksana seperti harapan saya beberapa tahun lalu. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Malam ini,
menjelang usia 41, saya hanya ingin berada di bawah perlindungan sayap-Nya.
Saya hanya ingin berada dalam genggaman tangan-Nya. Saya hanya ingin merasa
aman dan damai. Saya hanya ingin melepas semua topeng yang mengatakan “saya
baik-baik saja.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Malam ini, doa
saya untuk satu tahun ke depan hanya agar rasa lelah ini Dia angkat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Happy 41<sup>st</sup>
birthday, dear Me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">(June 3, 2014)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CrzPR6c7Z3U/U5AXqZxIkQI/AAAAAAAAAF8/9MY1TbSaisk/s1600/be-still-and-know-that-i-am-god.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CrzPR6c7Z3U/U5AXqZxIkQI/AAAAAAAAAF8/9MY1TbSaisk/s1600/be-still-and-know-that-i-am-god.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1REXhK3OsYY">www.youtube.com/watch?v=1REXhK3OsYY</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-21954951484548990992014-05-31T14:15:00.000+07:002014-06-13T10:39:27.976+07:00Rest in Peace, My Beautiful Dream<br />
<br />
These last couple of weeks, the writer in me has been pushing me to start again and, finally, after a visit from the Ghost of My Past (my previous entry), I did sit in front of my laptop and poured it all out.<br />
<br />
In the process of restarting, I couldn't help browsing over my not-so-many published notes in my Facebook account. And my heart sank really deep when I found this note...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Rest in Peace, My Beautiful Dream</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You came to me uninvited.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You turned my life upside down.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At times, you robbed me of my sleep - </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I could take care of you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At times, you stole me away from my loved ones -</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I could tend to your every need.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At times, you enticed me from the warmth of my home - </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so I could fulfill your every desire.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Much to my surprise,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I fell for you..</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I fell so in love with you..</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt so connected to you..</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You came to me uninvited.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You brought colors to my life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You helped me see the other side of me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You let me live a different life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You led me through a road less travelled.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You came to me uninvited.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And now,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You left me without saying goodbye.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You let me stand here waiting for you to come back.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You abandoned me without the slightest remorse.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You walked away... You didn't even look back.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You came to me uninvited.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You left me without warning.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess time has come for me to accept.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To let you go.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To sincerely say:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">thank you for the magnificent journey!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rest in peace, My Beautiful Dream.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>(A Repost From 2011)</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-91962017658042076252011-09-20T17:33:00.002+07:002011-09-20T17:36:16.984+07:00A Day In The Life Of A Fingerprint Analyst<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">In my job as a teacher and consultant, I have seen how parents (including myself) get confused when it comes to children's 'theatrics'. Many times, parents cannot understand why their 2-year-old goes into a terrible tantrum every time she is put in her car seat while her brother who is now 4 has never had that attitude. At other times, parents find it so annoying that their children do not want to join in the ballet lesson that they usually enjoy so much - not until the last 15 minutes of the session. As a fingerprint analyst, I have met hundreds of parents with similar problems . . . </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">getting lost in 'translation' when raising their children</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">I find all my consultation sessions interesting and enlightening but there is one that I find very touching. It is a session with a mother of a six-year-old girl who, according to her mom, is unpredictable and difficult to deal with. All through the consultation session, the mother could not restrain herself from laughing and crying at the same time because at that moment she felt that she had finally found the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">'manual'</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"> she could refer to when she needed to understand her little girl.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">Her six-year-old girl really loves ballet. She always looks forward to her ballet lessons but there are times when she refuses to participate as soon as she enters the class. She just sits and watches others. Her mom is often frustrated and, on the day that we met, was at the edge of her patience. She was going to call it quit to the ballet lesson.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">In the session, we found out that the girl </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">has a high need for comfort. She needs to 'warm up' before doing an activity. She needs to be comfortable and she needs to start from something familiar before moving on to a new thing</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">. Her mom then realized that most of the time, when the girl refused to join in, it was because they had to start with something new or something that she was not really familiar with. However, she would readily take part in the dance as soon as she heard a song that she liked or when she recognized the dance that she had learned before.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">Another thing that came to light was the reason why her daughter often backs down from challenging tasks. She will not even try. It's like losing the battle before it even begins. It turns out that she is the type of person who always wants to do things in the best way possible and the best result is her goal. So, when she sees the goal as being too hard or challenging, she will not even try for fear that she will fail or her work will not be as good as she wants it to be. After talking about this, she realizes that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">instead of verbally forcing her child to try and do something, she can actually help her see that, most of the time, it is the effort that matters</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">. Quality will come later.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">I have talked to a lot of parents and none of those talks have passed without me learning something valuable. I am always reminded that everybody is born unique. It is not fair for us to force our children to do things our way. When we can really understand our kids, we can have better communication with them. At the end of the day it is always very rewarding to see how parents realize that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;">understanding their children is the first and most important tool in enjoying the journey that they have with their children</span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"> </span>Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-79637958347608583202011-09-18T18:35:00.002+07:002011-09-20T16:35:44.778+07:00Where Do Babies Come From?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sex </span>education<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">...</span></span><br />
<br />
H<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;">hhmmm... It certainly is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">not</span> the kind of topic that we normally discuss at our dinner table or on our way to school, is it? Our <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">culture</span></span> has put us in a position where discussing sex with our children can make us </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">a terrible liar</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a lame story teller</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;">, or even </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">temporary deaf</span></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4c1130;">.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As for me, I'm not the type of mom who dodge questions so I always try my best to answer Nick's questions, that may range from '</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13;">why does water turn to ice when it's cold?</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">' to '<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0c343d;">why does God make earthquakes?</span></span>'. For me, questions about God are scarier and trickier than questions about sex. So, when the time came for me to answer questions about the birds and the bees, I <u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">felt</span></span></u> prepared. Little did I know that not all my answers can give the result that I'm hoping for.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7X9H_KUu894/TnhbFq5eDTI/AAAAAAAAABY/v8q1QHfQNCw/s1600/babies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7X9H_KUu894/TnhbFq5eDTI/AAAAAAAAABY/v8q1QHfQNCw/s200/babies.jpg" width="168" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Like other kids, Nick became curious about <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">where babies came from</span></span></b> so I told him all the facts about reproductive system. We read a book about human reproductive system together and we learnt that men produced <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">sperms</span></b></span> and women produced <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">eggs</span></span></span>. There were no leaves unturned about what would happen when sperms met the egg. At the end of our reading session, he seemed so <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">happy and satisfied</span> and I couldn't help feeling proud of myself for being able to take my responsibility in this matter.</span><br />
<br />
Trust me, it was not hard!<br />
<br />
Then, the result of our reading session came to light when one night, Nick said, "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Come on, Mom, make your egg hatch!</span></span> I want to have a baby brother or sister." I was confused by what he was saying so I asked him what he meant. Then, very confidently, he said, "If you want to have a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">baby</span></b></span> in your tummy, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0c343d;">the tadpole thingy have to hatch from your egg</span></span>, right? Then they will <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">race to your heart and the winner will then go to your egg and becomes a baby</span></span></span>. So you will have to hatch your egg soon. I can't wait to have a baby brother or baby sister, Mom."<br />
<br />
It was then that I realized that this matter was far from over. My next homework: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">How do the sperms meet the egg?</span></span>Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6804094815012648980.post-59884448823112572992011-09-16T02:13:00.000+07:002011-09-16T02:13:21.077+07:00A Decade and One<div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Today, eleven years ago</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We said 'I do'</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br style="line-height: 16px;" /></span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Today, eleven years ago</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We became one</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br style="line-height: 16px;" /></span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Today, eleven years ago</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We planned our future together</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Every piece and every stone</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We designed</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We built</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br style="line-height: 16px;" /></span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, eleven years have passed</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I still say 'I do'</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="line-height: 16px; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I do love you</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="line-height: 16px; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I do cherish the time I spend with you</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br style="line-height: 16px;" /></span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, eleven years have passed</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We have gone through a lot</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our best of time</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our darkest moment</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Nothing can compare to this</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A life I will not trade for the world</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A love I will not pass on any day</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A heart I will not betray no matter what</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Happy eleventh anniversary, my other half</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I loved you then</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I love you now</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will love you forever</span></div><div style="line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><br />
</div>Lili Widarsahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15423495940901692062noreply@blogger.com0